inner peace
Peace did not become personal for me until after the death of my infant son. Yes, I liked the idea of peace in the world and fighting hadn’t ever appealed to me. It was after baby Thomas’ death that peace became something I sought for myself.
I had to function for my other two children and for my mother who was sick and dying from cancer. I could put on the role, authentically, as a caring mother and a daughter.
Yet something would happen while driving alone in the car or in the middle of sleepless nights. It was a feeling of stunned immobility. How could the world be moving forward when inside me everything seemed to stop?
It was during those times that I began to seek inner peace. A personal and intimate peace. I would say the word over and over again on my in-breath. Peace… peace… peace…
It just struck me that sixteen years later, baby Thomas’ older brother, Adam, often held his hand up with the peace sign. Adam briefly found sobriety before succumbing to his own drunk driving death.
My grief around Thomas’ death beckoned me to inner peace. Peace, the sign that Adam often made prior to his death.
So I wonder, have your losses beckoned you to seek inner peace?
~ this photo was taken about a year before Adam died ~