holidays & loss
Divorce and death shook up holiday traditions for me. My heart felt unbearably heavy after both types of loss; loss of the dream of a happy relationship and the deaths of my two children along with my parents. Not all in the same year, thank goodness.
Holidays were beyond miserable for many years.
Gradually I began to question and connect with the meaning behind a given holiday. I began to ask myself how I wanted to honor the holiday.
Then I realized I could create an enjoyable holiday and experience sadness about loss at the same time.
For instance, the Christmas after my young adult son died I was deep in the depths of shock and grief. I knew it would be too hard to be around a group of people. My immediate family members were out of state and I felt too exhausted to travel so we facetimed.
I spent a lovely Christmas afternoon hiking and picnicking in a forest with a friend. In my wildest dreams I could never have imagined spending a holiday like that. Yet it was just perfect for me that year.
The grief exhaustion and the holiday were both honored with gentleness and care.
How are you honoring and caring for yourself this holiday season?
With healing light and love,