a list
Self-Reflection & Support
Over the years I’ve been asked how I’ve managed to survive, and even thrive, following the deaths of two of my children as well as other significant losses. The question most often throws me and I bumble along with some response.
It’s been asked so many times that it seems a little reflection might be helpful. Here goes.
It was obvious to me as a young child that there were realms beyond the material world. I loved the angels, saints, and holy figures that surrounded me in the classroom and church. The repetition of prayers was comforting. Sitting on half my chair was a given. Naturally, my angel would want to sit beside me!
Two life-altering classes in high school greatly impacted me: psychology and death & dying. The latter class was especially poignant as it began just after the passing of my paternal grandmother, Lillian, the only grandparent I knew and loved. These classes beckoned me to look beyond what I experienced on the surface.
My intimate experiences with the spiritual realms and book learning about psychology shaped and whetted my appetite for deepening an inner life and self-reflection.
So you could say I was born curious and open to looking on the inside part of life.
When significant loss, shock, and trauma (unexpected death of my infant, divorce, end of life caretaker for both parents, a son who struggled with addiction and died drunk, and less intense losses) shook me up I sought help.
Talk therapy, acupuncture, and body work
Group work; Compassionate Friends for families who have lost children & Al Anon for family and friends of alcoholics
Trusted friends
Solitude; especially time in nature, making art, journaling, and meditation
Yoga, chant, prayer
Spiritual reading of the masters from any lineage
For me, managing loss and grief has been two-fold: accessing skilled and empathic professionals and groups & nurturing my spiritual nature, often in solitude.
We each need to discover and create our own unique ‘list’ to help us manage our unique grief experience. Your list will not look like mine. It will be your list!
Have you or will you make a list of what helps you manage and heal* your unique grief experience?
*Healing, not ‘getting over’ grief. These are two different things.
With healing light and love,