the empty chair
Of course we will all experience loss. Family dynamics change. Divorce, amiable and not so amiable, happens. People move or become ill or die. And when we gather in groups we notice the ‘empty chair’ of the person no longer seated with us.
My family was gathering on the anniversary of my mother’s death. I was looking forward to it. My son Adam, in the throes of addiction, enjoyed these gatherings and promised to be there. He didn’t show up. I felt so angry and so sad. It certainly compounded my feelings of honoring my mother’s life that day. It felt like there were two empty chairs.
Adam died drunk some years later. When my daughter, Jenna, was getting married, she placed a photograph of Adam on a chair next to me during the wedding ceremony. It was a way of acknowledging and honoring his life. This gesture of the empty chair holding the photo was like a thread weaving or connecting us.
I am inspired to write this now because a friend just sent me a family photo… it included all of the children, grandchildren, and pets. Missing from the photo is the beloved mother and grandmother of this clan. She died this year.
So as we re-unite and gather again there may be ‘empty chairs’ symbolizing those who are not with us for any number of reasons. May we remember and honor the thread of love that connects us all.
With healing light and love,